I wrote on 11/4/19 a message that ended up connecting to this piece:
the time for signs is over, your life is the great sign. Being open and present is what allows spontaneous healing- creations to come forward, in JOY. Enjoy , joyful work is whats at play. to do anything from this vibration only continues the vibration. This is an overall universal truth but also a personal one, you are very much connected and KNOW. that is what matters. a thought came to me while sitting on the dock (at penns creek). what would i need to be truly free and happy, whole in this life? if someone came up to me and told me universal secrets and truths what would free me from all fear and insecurity?
'do not be afraid to express yourself in this life'
I AM has sent you, as a gift. we are all here as gifts.
I am free to create, why?
collective consciousness allows it.
we are all sharing information telepathically and now that i recognize my thoughts and ego self, i do feel a responsibility to my thoughts and their ripple effect. While that seems so serious, i dont feel serious, i feel humbled and creative, joyful. i still have incessant thoughts but i am now aware and opening up other channels of creativity and consciousness for pure energy; Love, to enter. My eyes constantly show me if i'm present or not. I used to think of this as a curse, that my eyes cannot hide how i feel, but now i SEE it as a true marker for presence. '
The Death of Illusion came after i wrote this. I had a moment in meditation where i found the GAP, the space between thought, and it blew my mind. i sat there for a moment and just sat and was PRESENT then thoughts began to come back in and instead of feeling let down i felt BLISS. from there i befriended my mind, which usually causes me nothing but anxiety and stress but i changed my awareness. I accepted it as it is. and every time i start to get caught up in thought i quickly remind my self of who i am, i am not that, and i slide beneath it. This painting came from this moment. I was going through life seeking something that has no name and along the way i collected tools and tricks to get me through, masks. Wearing a mask was a big thing in my life. And every now and then id go on spiritual quests (which i feel will always be important) and go 'up the mountain' to find myself again. Id take all my tools and masks up there with me JUST INCASE id need them. something to fall back on. but this moment captures the ecstatic bliss of realization that happens at the top of the mountain and rushing down with such eagerness to throw everything off; the fancy garments, the masks, the feathers, the STUFF and in the bright light of the sun we remember who we are, with nothing.
with nothing, we are everything.
The mountain seems to give way under her feet, this is how we move mountains. theres almost a blaze under us and above us. we are totally connected. Your life has become the great sign. This is that moment!