These are two of many paintings that came out of the Vision Quest. I found myself caught up in a few pieces that were starting to get stale and wanted to work more freely. I like pattern to come from clothing as well as interior scenes such as a tile floor or wallpaper. "Gertrude in a Mood" was how i was actually starting to feel during my vision quest. A lot of my figures don't always look like me but represent aspects of myself and how i'm feeling in that moment. Even "Death of a Businessman" symbolizes my recent journey although it depicts an old fashioned looking man. "Businessman" is about how many people i know including Matt and myself have decided to create our own paths in this life. Like pushing a new stream through a mountain. People aren't staying in jobs for 40 years anymore they are moving onto something their soul is yearning for and are starting to let their spirits speak to them and move them in different directions.
Gertrude represents a part of myself not many people see but is definitely there. I never thought I resonated with being an Aries and so many people have told me i'm the calmest Aries they've ever met but there is a fire there that comes out in the form of moods and anger especially when I feel overwhelmed and art isn't going smoothly. as i'm learning it is all part of my process. One of the many things I loved about my dad was he knew this aspect of me and instead of trying to throw water on the flame he let me be in my mood- knowing it was temporary, and would wait patiently for me to come out of it and we'd continue on as normal. He understood it was part of me and that was OK. I always appreciated that about him.
I love to paint figures because that is how I work stuff out. Its the best way for me to express an emotion. I guess you could say all my figure paintings are self portraits in their own symbolic way.